Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Why do so many people think they are the boss of my bitch ass?

From this website it seems you can get a list of the books which are BANNED by Opus Dei*.

This is about the plumb stupidest idea I ever done hear, y'all.

I do appreciate the thought that went into the different character levels, just like in D&D "degrees of badness" for these books. Levels 1 and 2 are OK to read (although for 2 you may need some prior "formation", which I think is like the formation my kids do with play-dough, i.e. squashing). Level 3 is only okay if you have been sufficiently, er, formed. Although please note! There may be "inconvenient" scenes (like the one in that ol' time Christmas carol, "I saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"), and of course you would need the permission of your cruise director yogic flyer spiritual director.

Level 4 is where it gets good.

For Level 4 you not only need the permission of the Spiritual Director (and possibly the Spiritual Executive Producer and Spiritual Assistant Sound Editor, although that is not specified per se), but you must "have a necessity to read them". I am guessing that this definition of "necessity" cannot generally be extended to include letters to Penthouse, due to the necessity of finding out what Midwestern College Co-eds do when the Pizza Guy shows up and they don't have cash on hand. (Unless authorized by your Spiritual Director, of course, which raises the possibility of a black market in freelance Spiritual Director permission slips.)

Levels 5 and 6 are FORBIDDEN abosuposituvelitely, unless you have the specific permission of either the Mad Hatter in New York or the Queen of May in Rome. Failing that you require the permission of the Chief Dogbotherer in Palos Verde, or the Associate Comptroller for the Five Boroughs.

I suppose if anyone writes some really nasty piece of crap, it would require written permission from the Head Flying Monkey on the planet Bongo.

This is a really, really, really, powerfully stupid idea. But at least I know where to start my summer reading!

p.s. I am a little peeved that Ayn Rand only made Level 5. What the heck? So I only need some yahoo in New York to say it's okay to read Atlas Shrugged, but if I want to read Carrie I've got to make a call to Rome?

*In case you are wondering, Dei is not the last name of Berkely Breathed's cartoon penguin.

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